South African families must prioritise compassion and emotional awareness in child development. According to Momentum Group’s Staff Volunteering Programme Specialist, Patronella Sono, the words parents use, the examples they set and the values they share fundamentally shape how children understand kindness, empathy and their role in the world.
“Parenting is perhaps the most profound responsibility we carry,” says Sono. “Yet we often overlook one of the most powerful tools at our disposal, the deliberate cultivation of compassion in our children. Investing in emotional intelligence and kindness is not just about raising polite children. It is about building a generation equipped to solve problems, bridge divides and create meaningful change in our society.”
The power of words
The language parents and caregivers use becomes internalised by children as their own internal voice. When a child is told they are valued, and when that message is reinforced through genuine listening and attunement, they begin to believe that they matter. This belief becomes foundational to how they relate to themselves and others throughout their lives.
“The words we choose with our children are not merely fleeting moments of conversation,” she explains. “They become part of a child’s psychological architecture. When we balance high expectations with understanding and acceptance, children develop the same capacity to respond to themselves and others with compassion rather than criticism.”
This principle holds particular power during early childhood and the primary school years. During this period, children’s brains are characterised by exceptional neuroplasticity; the brain’s remarkable ability to form new neural pathways in response to experience and learning.
Teaching kindness, forgiveness and empathy during this window yields the greatest developmental benefit and creates emotional habits that last a lifetime.
Leading by example
Children absorb behaviour through observation far more effectively than through instruction. When parents and guardians consistently demonstrate empathy, respect and kindness in their interactions with others, children gradually internalise these responses as normal, as expected, as the way one moves through the world.
“The most effective way to instil compassion in children is not through lectures or rules,” Sono adds. “It is shown through being the kind of person you wish your child to grow into. When children witness their parents showing up with kindness for neighbours, treating service workers with respect and handling difficult situations with grace, they learn what compassion actually looks like in practice.”
This principle directly informs Momentum Group’s approach to its Staff Volunteering Programme. By creating structured opportunities for employees to engage in meaningful community service, the organisation recognises that adults benefit profoundly from practising compassion. These actions ripple outward, influencing families and communities in ways that extend far beyond the immediate act of service.
Volunteering as a family
One of the most transformative ways to nurture compassion in children is to engage in volunteer activities together as a family. Whether participating in community clean-ups, supporting local charities, assisting elderly neighbours or contributing to environmental initiatives, these shared experiences teach children that giving back is not an obligation imposed from above, but a natural expression of care for one’s community.
“Volunteering as a family creates a powerful learning laboratory,” she says. “Children see the direct impact of their efforts. They witness real people being helped. They experience the satisfaction of contribution. These are lessons no classroom can fully replicate.”
Momentum Group actively encourages its employees to involve their children in volunteering activities, recognising that such experiences build emotional intelligence, build social connection and instil a sense of agency: the understanding that one person’s actions genuinely matter.
Time spent with elderly family members and community elders offers another avenue for building kindness. Simple acts, such as singing songs together, assisting with household tasks, or listening to stories create inter-generational bonds that reinforce respect, patience and gratitude.
The benefits of teaching compassion extend far beyond childhood. Research consistently demonstrates that emotional intelligence and kindness are foundational to happiness, resilience and meaningful relationships throughout life.
Professor Tharina Guse, Head of the Department of Psychology at the University of Pretoria, supports this view, “Kindness can enhance positive emotions, not only for the persons who do kind acts, but also for the receivers of these acts. Further, it strengthens our social relationships.”
Moreover, compassion is contagious. When children learn to be kind and empathetic, they carry these values into their peer groups, schools and eventually their workplaces and families. Over time, this gradual accumulation of compassionate individuals builds more tolerant, cohesive communities.
“We know that teaching compassion early is an investment in individual wellbeing and collective flourishing,” Sono concludes. “Our Staff Volunteering Programme is rooted in this conviction. By supporting our employees to volunteer and by encouraging families to volunteer together, we are participating in something much larger than corporate social responsibility. We are actively strengthening the social fabric of South Africa.”
